Something I Need To Say.

Papa, I am your daughter.

But i am more than that too.

I am a Woman
whose Heart speaks louder than
anything your discouragement
can say.

And She tells me
that happiness is more important than
some illusionary American dream.
that your support and understanding
is not worth my misery.
that Life is abundant
and my Mother will provide-
that money is not the end-all or controller
of my destiny and dreams.

And i will return to the place of my birth
different
and more grown than before,
as i come into my Self
and claim my Womanhood
for my own.

Mama forgive me for any distancing i must do
or have done,
please understand, it was never To you.
a necessary step in my path,
my journey towards
Me.
I adore you with all my heart-
honoring the Wild Woman in you
that has always nurtured
the Wild Woman
in me.

and Papa please understand, if you can find it
within you to do so-
that i am not your little girl anymore.

and that i cannot be anyone
but Me.

and i simply cannot search any longer for my self worth
in your approval or words-
and please know that my wandering feet
and searching soul
are not made
for the paths
that you have known.

So, here i am
slightly brokenhearted
and struggling,
knowing that the rock and hard place
i find myself between-
are neither one for me.
so i will slip out
quietly
and find some place
in the shade of my Creator's trees,
dig my toes in deep
and breathe.

This is Me.
Aqui Soy.
the daughter of my father's rage
and my mother's forgotten dreams.
i am not perfect
nor pretend to be,
but i do hold me to the highest
standard of Me.

and i will grow
and i will break
i will rise from the dust of my ashes
with a Phoenix cry-
i will stumble
i will reach, soar, fly.

and even if i fail
by this world's standards or my father's
at least i will not have ignored
the Voice within me.