So Much Lately

So very much.
Again, from Life has arisen teachers and opportunities- synchronystic in nature and completely relevent to the issue at hand, which has been the grieving of my Uncle Joe.
It was something i suppressed when he died, almost three years ago now. At the time, there were some other major issues i was dealing with, and it would have overwhelmed me to feel it and go through it then.
But now, being in such a better place, it seems to have come up, very gently- asking for permission to be seen and felt.
And i have consented, finally.

One of the opportunities that arose was going to go see "The Man of la Mancha" at the S.F. Playhouse. This was my Uncle's favorite show, a mirror of his life in many ways. I ended up going with my dad, which was more wonderful than i could have imagined.

Healing within healing, circle within circle.

Needless to say i spent almost the entire play with tears streaming down my face in tides (waves, rivers, oceans, gushing geysers of grief- your choice). I had my dad on one side and a dear friend on the other. It was so good to sit next to my Pops and hold his hand- he was very sweet.

The whole night i felt like i was able to see my dad through the eyes of love and compassion. I saw him wholly- who he is, who he wants to be, and maybe a little bit of why. It was beautiful.

The next night, i got a message from him on my voicemail- and just started crying. His voice was loving and so tender. so, so tender. I felt like it was the voice i had been waiting to hear my whole life.

Healing within healing, circle within circle.
Ever widening, ever deepening.

I am so grateful.