Thoughts Today.

If generosity is not extended to everyone, it is not true generosity.

If compassion is not extended to everyone, it is not true compassion.

In no way do i claim to embody the highest understanding of generosity or compassion.

but i think this is what we are here for.   

What is Love if not a spirit of generosity and a deep compassion towards all creatures?

What are we doing here if it is not learning how to Love?

this idea that life is a burden to bear, something to endure, until we die and finally can be happy and have peace is missing it completely.   

We are in the joyous bliss of creation, it's glory permeating everything around us, seeping into every cell.  

We are partaking in the wondrous dance of the cosmos, universe beyond universe beyond our understanding. 

We are God expressing and experiencing, Himself.

(Herself, Itself--that doesn't matter either.)

We have the sacred opportunity to learn how to Love each other, and in doing so, God.

This Time, Last Year.

What a gorgeous day it has been.
Woke up with some yoga and qigong stretches and fed my body a delicious home-made smoothie. Did some light organizational stuff around the house and then went for a barefoot walk in the LIFE-GIVING, INCREDIBLE sunshine that graced us with its presence today.
Ate lunch at this funky little falafel shack with my Love and then walked around Park St. for awhile, doing nothing in particular.
Beautiful, just beautiful.

I was thinking about the time of year we find ourselves in, as winter is giving way to spring; death in to life. And with Good Friday yesterday (also the Full Moon and Spring Equinox) and Easter tomorrow, I thought it might be nice to repost my entry from last year.

here goes.


"Thinking about Easter, and it's deeper symbolic meanings...From darkness into Light, from death into Life. A rebirth of sorts. At least for those of us living, here, now. Thinking about the ways in which i want to live my life and the way i want to love. Choosing not to despair, not because there is no sorrow, but because this Life is precious and beautiful and sacred.
Saturday, the day inbetween, is always the darkest. Like those last few hours before morning.
But the light always comes, Life always comes. I am seeing this acted out in nature all around me, the snow is melting, the buds on the trees have begun to open. When i open my eyes in the morning, the birds are outside singing songs of the Spring to come.
We are never in darkness forever.

I thank God this day for all of Creation, for every living thing, for each person i encounter, know, love. And those whom i haven't met, and might not ever. Living at the hostel, i meet people from all walks of Life, every background imaginable, every path taken unique. And it is BEAUTIFUL. breaktakingly so. We are a pathwork quilt of Humanity- all living together and connecting with each other, helping each other. I am continually amazed at how fragile people are- how delicate and tender we all are underneath, inside. It has deepened my respect for people and their experiences. We can learn from everyone we interact with, if we see them through eyes of humility. if we allow them to teach us.

And today especially, i think about God's mercy and lovingkindness. And i think that God, outside of all our constructed boxes, is Eternal and perfect Compassion.
And that we have no idea what that really means.

I condemn no one. I have no place.
Rather, i try to greet every human being as the exquisite creation that they are. And see where God's scuplting fingers left imprints in the clay.

This inbetween Saturday,
May you be Blessed
to know sorrow,
so that when the Joy comes
you will recognize it
and leap into it's arms.

May you be Blessed
to know darkness,
so that when the dawn
peeks it's head over
the last few remaining stars,
you will dance
with anticipation
and utter abandonment
into the Light of morning.

May you be Blessed
to know winter,
it harsh cold
and heavy silence,
it's frost on your heart-
so that,
when the buds of new growth
sprout
you will not complain
of the pain of transformation,
but instead sing out
with newfound Joy and gratitude-
as all the frost melts away
and you find yourself
to be more
Alive
than ever before.

On this Saturday inBetween,
May you be Blessed."

Moved to Tears.

Barack Obama's speech in Philadelphia.

Gratitude and Inspiration.

i can hear it humming

something good is on its way

i feel a pulse in my chest

my heart pumping out the rhythms

of something ancient

waking up

in me

and when the woman spoke tonight

of circles and centers

something in me smiled

in recognition

at the light burning in her eyes

the joy that emanated from her being

i know that light

it glows

warm

like a candle's flame

like the embers

of a thousand ancient fires

still burning

in me

i can hear it singing

good things are on the way

voices raised united

dancing through darkness

into the dawn.

there is something unspeakably beautiful

about a woman who is fully herself, fully her own

speaking her truth.  

she is vibrant and alive, an embodiment of the Divine.

fully, breathtakingly, Woman.

The paper I am currently writing for my Women's Spirituality class is focused around the issue of anger.   Specifically, Women's anger at the oppression and atrocities that befall us simply because of our gender and how that anger plays out in our spirituality and lives. 

Clarissa Pinkola Estes wrote, 

"Even raw and messy emotions are a form of light, crackling, bursting with energy.  We can use the light of rage in a positive way, in order to see into places we cannot usually see.  ...All emotion, even rage, carries knowledge, insight, what some call enlightenment.  Our rage can, for a time, become our teacher...a thing not to be rid of so fast, but rather something to climb the mountain for, something to personify, learn from, deal with internally, then shape into something useful in the world as a result, or something we let go back down to dust.  In the wild life, rage is not a stand-alone item.  It is a substance waiting for our transformative efforts."

when we are able to do this, when we can transform our rage and anger into compassion,

the effect we will have in the world will be astounding.  

change will come and we will be a force of unimaginable strength.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

I~ GOT~AN~ APARTMENT!!!!!! THE ~COOLEST~ APARTMENT~ EVER!

Me

family comes in many forms

from many places

i have known such love

shining in so many faces

how many brothers and sister have I

how many mothers and fathers

truly- blessed- am I

truly- blessed- am I

we dwell in separate houses

call upon different names

we worship at different altars

but the Source is the same

how many brothers and sisters have I

how many mothers and fathers

truly- blessed- am I

truly- blessed- am I

Ani

looks like my crazy family

is down one crazy daughter cuz

i'm shipwrecked in a desert that

once was underwater just

looking for a swift turn of phrase

some colors to fly

as i float by

in the parade

plus i dream in skin scented sentences

of a stronger faster fiercer you

and to each noun, verb and predicate

i dedicate a vivid hue

but you ain't done too well

getting past your permanent pastel

have you now?

yes, the desert seemed so promising

and then it paled somehow

so school is in session

get your chin off your desk

now pick up your pencil

and turn over your test

use your education

and take an educated guess

about me

plus i have this whole new family

and i'm in love with each of them

and i'm on this list called lucky

whenever i'm in reach of them

and i'm learning how to say

that i'd be happy either way

with your love

so school is in session

get your chin off your desk

now pick up your pencil

and turn over your test

use your education

and take an educated guess

about me

By the Way..

All credit for that photo is due Colt Bender, an amazing photographer and pretty cool guy.

Also, the title for the post is 1) my personal sentiments of that moment and 2) reference to a Nina Simone song.

Thank you and Good Night.

How I Feel.

Be still, be still.

When human love is limited and even wounding,

the Beloved comes near

and holds me.

Solidaridad.

Solidarity.