Beginnings and Endings

Why do we have two separate words for an idea or concept that is the same, inseparable? I wonder at the power of language- maybe things wouldn't seem so disjointed if we didn't perceive them that way, if our language didn't reflect that.
Hmm, (shrug) interesting.
So.
These past couple of weeks have been full of... Bendings, shall we call them? (i think that actually might be pretty close to a more accurate term).
Learning again, to trust in God's goodness and provision. Understanding and trusting in the love of my Father, my Abba.

and with all that in mind, still comes the definitive statement:

Cars suck.

There is just no getting around it, really. It was kind of ironic because i had been talking so much about wanting a car-free existence and then it landed in my lap. Ha!
i wasn't entirely ready for it...Need to keep the income flowing for awhile first.
And therein lies the lesson-
I spent the last two years of my life constantly scheming- frantic with worry about how i was going to make rent, where i was going to work, where i would be living the next month, how it would all work out. I made myself sick, i really did.

Which brings me to Today and Trust. Everything i was able to eke out for myself completely fell apart, was disastrous and unhealthy. When i finally reached the end of my rope, fell on my face, and asked for help- God was SO faithful to provide for me. He seemed to be saying, "Little Beloved, why didn't you ask earlier? I've been here waiting for you to ask." In the words of my youngest charge (and friend)- "Silly Rachell."
Silly indeed.
So now, i have decided to not worry, knowing that God will open a door, or window, or porthole, or sewer cap. My Father will take care of me according to his unfailing love. This i know is true.

You know, in the end, we really are all going to be okay. Even with all the mistakes, all the missed opportunities, all the wounds we inflict on others and ourselves, all the details that drain us, all the failed plans, dreams deferred- even with all this- We are all going to be okay. We really are.
Think about it- the issues that you obsessed over 5 years ago (three even!) the things you lost sleep over- didn't they resolve? And can't you look back now and see, wow, you made it through.
Not to say that we don't have "BIG" stuff in our lives, hardship, heartwrecks, major pains that can and sometimes do continue through the years. But if God is faithful in the small things that don't really matter,(like a car) why woudn't he be just as faithful in the big stuff too??
Today and Trust.
Today and Trust.
Also very connected words...."Do not worry about tomorrow-" that implies that we must trust that God is concerned about tomorrow and will, or has already, taken care of it.
Hmmm, (smile).
Silly Language.