Musings...

I've got that "I (Heart) Huckabees" song in my head...doo-dunh dadah doo-dunh...
you know the one.

i've been thinking a lot lately about how we make time for what is important to us. so, i've been thinking about what i have been spending my time on and the delicate balance i'm somehow managing to stumble along.
i'm working a lot and wondering if it is worthwhile. i want so much more time to read, write, play the guitar, enjoy and connect with those i love. but also, i need to be saving dinero to fund my time in mexico and the three months i won't be working. so maybe, this is a season of working with rest to come? then i will be coming back and changing focus. being able to devote more time to learning, loving, music and the like.
it sounds so good.

struggling with my place lately- in relationships with others.
crazy family- what is my role? what degree of distance is healthy and what is cruel? am i just avoiding the situation? am i tresspassing in co-dependency?
in other news, i have stumbled across some resentment in my heart. it grieves me and i am dancing around it, wondering what the best way is to deal with it. releasing pride, admitting vulnerability, growing in grace for others and myself.

i know deeply that i am in a time of preparation right now. i feel a growing sense of responsibilty- to be intentional and introspective in my living, in my loving.

What could possibly be more exciting than being alive??