Come Out Into the Light

"Sex scandal pastor says after therapy, he's heterosexual"

The title of this San Francisco Chronicle article caught my eye. I don't know how many are familiar with the Ted Haggard story. The short of it? ...He was the senior pastor of a church in Colorado, as well as the president of the National Association of Evangelicals. Then last fall, when he began to promote a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, a man named Michael Jones came forward and exposed their 3 year affair.
Rev. Haggard, who is married, was "ousted by the overseers" of his church last November, and has apparently been in counseling/therapy in Phoenix.
For three weeks.

He wrote in an email to members of the church that his three weeks of counseling in Phoenix have felt like, "three years' worth of analysis and treatment," and that, "Jesus is starting to put me back together."
Another reverend from the church, Tim Ralph "told the Denver Post that Haggard had come out of the counseling convinced of his heterosexuality." Ralph went on to say,"He is completely heterosexual." Saying also that Haggard's "homosexual behavior had not been a 'constant thing.'"

The highlight of the article for me, was the input of Dr. Jack Drescher, a psychiatrist from New York who specializes and is considered an expert in the studies/issues of gender and sexuality. Dr. Drescher said, "while it was people's prerogative to identify their sexual orientation as they wanted, the notion of being able to change that orientation was 'not consistent with clinical presentations, but totally consistent with theological belief.' "
He continues, "Some people in the community that Haggard comes from believe homosexuality is a form of behavior, a sinful form of behavior based on certain things in the Bible, and they don't believe you can create a healthy identity based on sinful behavior. ...So they define it as a behavior that can be changed, and there is this thinking that if you control those behaviors enough, heterosexual attractions will follow."

The article is ended with a comment from the Rev. Tim Ralph that he had shared with the Denver Post- that the overseers of Haggard's church "had recommended to Haggard that he take up secular work."


So much here.
First of all, what a huge rejection and repulsion from Haggard's community, his church. That is really sad to me, that they wouldn't surround him and support him and love him during this time in his life amidst all the judgement that is falling on him. That is huge. And a huge issue within the traditional Christian church, i think. When people "fall by the wayside"- whether merely the perception of others or actual hard times, there is a withdrawal, a distance that is, i feel, deliberately created. As though they are no longer deserving of your full interaction, connection, and love, or that their "sinfulness" might rub off on you.
Where is the understanding of Grace? Of the fact that none of us are perfect, and no one is worse than the other? Forgiveness?? interesting.

Another issue that arises for me is Haggard's hypocrisy. And what of Michael Jones? First of all, props to him for outing his lover who was sharing his bed, and then preaching the evils of homosexuality and publicly supporting a discriminatory and unconstitutional amendment. Secondly, the poor man. He must feel such a sense of betrayal. To prevent any further damage to his position and reputation in the Christian world, Ted Haggard (whom he had been intimate with for three years), cast him and all consideration for him aside , completely disregarding his feelings and his humanity and reducing him to a sinful act, a bad choice made, some sort of depravity that requires therapy to resolve. wow.
And the real issue here isn't the details of this specific case that was brought to the public's attention. The deeper issue is that this is not a rare occurrence, an isolated event. We are trading honesty and reality for hypocrisy.

Something else that this brought up for me was the human ability to define terms and create definitions for everything imaginable. By doing this, in essence, we have the ability to create our own realities...the laws and terms by which we live. The trouble is, groups and sects, (and major religions) can all create contradicting, differing definitions whose collisions can be disastrous.
I don't think that homosexuality is a "form of behavior" and i don't think that changing your behavior changes your sexual orientation; in fact, i know it doesn't.

And yes, you can change your behavior- who you date for example. And i know many who have. They believe that it is against God to fall in love with and pursue someone of the same physical sex and so, they break up. They stay single. They pray harder. Does this mean that their interest and attraction to people of the same physical sex just go away?? No. And does this mean that they will fall in love with and be physically and sexually attracted to someone of the opposite physical sex? In some cases, maybe. In most, probably not. In some, never.

I think we are all broken and beautiful people. I think if we could all just be HONEST with each other and be open about who we really are, we would all be so much better off. We could all let our bellies hang out and laugh together and realize that we are the same. And judgement would stop, because we would realize that we are what we're judging. I think that there are so many people in the church today that are hiding. And, metaphorically speaking, i think we all need to come out.