Singing to la Madre Luna.

Soy una Nina salvaje
una Mujer silvestre
Soy una Nina salvaje
mis Abuelas viven en Mi

Soy la Hermana de las nubes
aprendia a compartir
Soy la Hija del oceano
y Toda esta Vivo en Mi
Toda esta Vivo en Mi.


Tonight I am wondering. in a state of wonder. at the beauty in and of this Life.
I am grateful for all the Women of strength and dignity and ancient wisdom in my Life.
I am thankful for all the Men in my Life who embrace a masculinity of compassion and consideration.
I am amazed, astounded, and humbled.

Gracias Maheo, PachaMama, Abuela. Gracias por mi Vida.

Mouna

So, I've decided to start quoting Mouna, because she is brilliant and hysterical. Or maybe brilliantly hysterical. Hysterically brilliant? Anyway-
I'm not sure if her energy and tone will come across through the medium of blog, but imagine a wild-grey-haired woman who almost dances as she talks. She almost audibly hums with energy. It is so crazy. When she speaks, its as if every sentence was the most profound exciting statement.

The scene.
Outside my cabin, Mouna is watering a small herb garden. My neighbor, Lisa and I are listening as Mouna explains what is growing and the medicinal qualities of each herb.
As this is happening, Lisa discovers an ant colony which has made its home outside our cabins, on the edge of the garden.
This is the conversation that ensues...

Lisa: "Is it a good thing to have the ant colony so close to the herbs?"

Mouna, as she immediately begins dousing the small anthill with the hose, exclaims:
"Chile!! They don't like water and they don't like chile!"

Mouna continues, "And we don't want them so close to the garden. No.
That would go in the 'No, No, NO!' category!!"

The Juicy Pulp; written while in CA.

From Madeleine L'Engle's "Glimpses of Grace."- entitled, Enjoying God.
The scene: "In the Portuguese convent, Joaquina is an overly pious nun, and Mother Escolastica is one of the senior nuns. Mariana is playing with some of the convent children. At the time of this story, the middle of the 17th century, Portugal was still struggling to win her freedom from Spain."

The refectory rang with unaccustomed laughter.
Sister Joaquina, unable to share the pleasure, was saying, "I'm not sure it's a good idea."
Beatriz directed her clear gaze at Joaquina. "What? Being free of Spain?"
"Counting buttons."
-What? Mother Escolastica, sitting across from the younger nuns, focused her dark old eyes, still bright as beads on Joaquina's pasty face. Did the young nun, like Sister Maria de Assuncao, suffer from dyspepsia? Her diet should be checked. Why should a casual remark from silly little Michaela on the brightness of the buttons on the French soldier's jackets be made into an issue?
Joaquina, overly fond of mortifications, took the driest, hardest crust from the bread tray. "It keeps our minds from the contemplation of inward visions."
Mariana burst into such a peal of laughter that all heads in the refectory turned in her direction.
Joaquina flushed, "What's so funny?"

"Forgive me," Mariana said quickly as she reached for an orange and began to peel it. "I wasn't laughing at you. You're quite right. I should spend more time, as you do, worrying about saving my soul, but i can't seem to do it, because surely I cannot save my soul. Only God can do that. And when i see-" she looked out the long, open windows to the garden, "-the way the evening sun is touching the flowers right now- or when i look at this orange, look at the brilliance of its color and smell the sharpness of its scent-isn't that as much a vision of God as anything we see inwardly?"

"I don't know," Joaquina said flatly. She looked across the table at Mother Escolastica. "I don't mean to criticize, Mother, but there's something wrong with it."
"With what, child?"
"The way Sister Mariana looks out the window at the flowers, and the way she enjoys that orange."
"Well?"
"She enjoys it too much."
Mariana's mouth was full of juicy pulp. "Aren't we supposed to?"


I think often times people forget that this world around us is created for us to enjoy and care for. Many feel that everything exists in extremes- God is good, we are bad. Heaven is holy, the World is evil. So what is created is this huge chasm- this separateness. (Do we forget that God is IN us? That everything we see is in fact His&Her divine handiwork??) With this division, is created a great deal of fear- fear of contamination, of damnation, of becoming too invested in "this world", etc.
And, instead of cultivating healthy habits and attitudes about balance and healthy limits for oneself, people choose to pull away in fear, reject all of it, and judge and condemn others who enjoy the simple and sensual of Life. Mariana poses her question- "Isn't that as much a vision of God as anything we see inwardly?" yes, YES.

And her other statement, "I should spend more time...worrying about saving my soul, but i can't seem to do it, because surely I cannot save my soul. Only God can do that."
In the past i have felt this deeply, with great shame. Until I realized that i know so many who live every day in constant analysis and questioning of their "salvation" or their "calling" or what they are "supposed" to do- and i simply cannot do that.
If your head is cloudy and overcast you tend to miss the sunshine and the way it looks shining on the flowers.
you MISS it.
that moment of your life GONE FOREVER. i am not willing to do that anymore.
Life is not that serious and gloomy, and neither is God.
I think God has given us this creation- in all its terrible beauty- to simply enjoy. This world is beautiful and sacred because of the God that created it. Amen.

The Saturday inBetween.

Yesterday was Good Friday, tomorrow Easter- El Dia de la Resureccion.

My family is in Mexico, or will be soon, and will be spending Easter with my family there. I am supremely happy for them, and very jealous. I miss them all so much.
I heard about a little church here that has a 7:00 service in the morning- entirely in Spanish. i think i will make my way there. I deeply miss my Mexican family and the church there and hearing prayer on Easter morning in Espanol, would be divine.

Thinking about Easter, and it's deeper symbolic meanings...From darkness into Light, from death into Life. A rebirth of sorts. At least for those of us living, here, now. Thinking about the ways in which i want to live my life and the way i want to love. Choosing not to despair, not because there is no sorrow, but because this Life is precious and beautiful and sacred. Saturday, the day inbetween, is always the darkest. Like those last few hours before morning.
But the light always comes, Life always comes. I am seeing this acted out in nature all around me, the snow is melting, the buds on the trees have begun to open. When i open my eyes in the morning, the birds are outside singing songs of the Spring to come.
We are never in darkness forever.

I thank God this day for all of Creation, for every living thing, for each person i encounter, know, love. And those whom i haven't met, and might not ever. Living at the hostel, i meet people from all walks of Life, every background imaginable, every path taken unique. And it is BEAUTIFUL. breaktakingly so. We are a pathwork quilt of Humanity- all living together and connecting with each other, helping each other. I am continually amazed at how fragile people are- how delicate and tender we all are underneath, inside. It has deepened my respect for people and their experiences. We can learn from everyone we interact with, if we see them through eyes of humility. if we allow them to teach us.

And today especially, i think about God's mercy and lovingkindness. And i think that God, outside of all our constructed boxes, is Eternal and perfect Compassion.
And that we have no idea what that really means.

I condemn no one. I have no place.
Rather, i try to greet every human being as the exquisite creation that they are. And see where God's scuplting fingers left imprints in the clay.

This inbetween Saturday,
May you be Blessed
to know sorrow,
so that when the Joy comes
you will recognize it
and leap into it's arms.

May you be Blessed
to know darkness,
so that when the dawn
peeks it's head over
the last few remaining stars,
you will dance
with anticipation
and utter abandonment
into the Light of morning.

May you be Blessed
to know winter,
it harsh cold
and heavy silence,
it's frost on your heart-
so that,
when the buds of new growth
sprout
you will not complain
of the pain of transformation,
but instead sing out
with newfound Joy and gratitude-
as all the frost melts away
and you find yourself
to be more
Alive
than ever before.

On this Saturday inBetween,
May you be Blessed.