Shit.

Check out this story.

Has anyone else noticed a major-crack down on small groups of activists/protesters???

At the No Borders Camp in Calexico there was what can only be described as utter brutality and aggressive, violent force used against a group of peaceful, unarmed protesters.
(PLEASE watch this video, I know it's hard.)

I also heard reports of injuries (requiring hospitalization) at the Anti-War/Anti-Recruitment protest in Berkeley.

If student protests, like the one in Santa Cruz, are being met with this kind of aggression and intimidation tactics, (these people were practically being held hostage in their house all day!!!) then I think it's time to worry. When the official report comes back on that one, don't be surprised if the word "terrorist" gets thrown around. Shit.

The video footage of the police ATTACKING peaceful people in Calexico, is actually, personally, very hard to watch. I met many of those people- they are beautiful, beautiful human beings. The only thing more horrifying than watching it happen, is the fact that NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT IT. I remember coming back into the states and being outraged that no major news network had even MENTIONED it. None of those Border Patrol (La Migra) officers have been chastised or penalized, let alone brought to justice.

For more information and video footage of the Camp, check out their website at:

http://noborderscamp.org/

Burning.

Como vas a quitarle, una Madre de su Hijo?
(How can you take her, a Mother from her Son?)
Como vas a decirle que se tiene que ir?
(How can you tell her that she has to leave?)
Loca es la cultura que confunde esas cosas-
(The culture that confuses these things is Crazy.)
Loca esta cultura- lo hay que decir??
(This culture is crazy- what is there to say?)


It's time to say it loud-
We Have Lost Our Fucking Minds.
you can't tell me that you are proud.
La Migra storms into a crowd-
grabs a mother by the neck.
they tell her she is not allowed
to here remain with her child.

The mother weeps beyond the fence
they have torn her from her son
victims of brutal circumstance
the child was born on hostile land
where they say she can't belong-
how can we understand
a loss so very very wrong?

It's time to build a new Underground Railroad
We can't go on playing deaf and blind
It's time to build a new Underground Railroad
El Rio Grande is the new Mason-Dixon line

"Give me your Tired and your Poor,"
cried the Lady with the torch
and then she Slammed her Iron Door
She built a Wall, she's waging War
fills the Minute Men with glee-
they have their share
but they want more,
Not So Brave and Not So Free

It's time to build a new Underground Railroad
We can't go on playing deaf and blind
It's time to build a new Underground Railroad
El Rio Grande is the new Mason-Dixon Line.

-music and lyrics by: Earl J. Rivard Jr. and Earl J. Rivard III

Help......me.............

Looking for a place, may in fact, make me COMPLETELY INSANE.

I had to hang up on what I had thought to be, possibly, a potential landlord because he not only kept me on the phone for an obscene amount of time by repeatedly asking the same questions over and over, but then asked me if I was "hispanic" because that was what he was "getting from me."
The clincher? He then went on to explain how he is unable to tell any "asian" people apart.

Click.

You gotta be kidding me.

Community as Resource?

If anybody hears or knows of someone who is renting out their place

or of someone who is looking for a roomate...

please let me know!

On Second Thought...

I am going to start seriously investing in educating the boys, the young and grown men that I come into contact with in my Life, about what it means to respect Women.

I going to invest in encouraging all Girls and Women to love and respect themselves and speak up- loud and strong- in the face of injustice, sexism, and misogyny- wherever they are found. 

A Moment in A Woman's Life

Ok. I am going to be really real for a moment here.


I just entered the Library, where I am working. I am here early to meet my mom and print out a paper for my class. As I am approaching the front doors, heavy-laden with a book-bag, purse, and jacket, I notice a small group of boys hanging out by the cafe in front. At this time of day, with a jr. high right down the street, it is not uncommon for there to be large groups of pre-teens hanging out in and in front of the library. Not studying mind you, just hanging out.

As I am struggling to make it to the front door without dropping either my book bag or my purse, or both, this group of boys grows quiet. Quiet until one of them calls out, loud enough for the surrounding people to hear,

"Nice titties."

My heart dropped to my stomach. I'm thinking, you gotta be kidding me, right? I know a 12 year old boy did not just publicly disrespect me, a full grown woman. Not like that.
I felt that old familiar shame rising up from my belly, hot and cold at the same time. I could feel my face warm and my eyes, though covered in sunglasses, were glaring. I stopped and looked at these boys, and asked them straight out-

"Would you talk to your Sister that way?
Would you talk to your Mama like that?"

They stared and were silent, one boy protesting his innocence- obviously ashamed. I gathered my things and what was left of my somewhat shattered dignity and walked inside.

I had dressed up today, wearing a form-fitting yet classy shirt. A change from the "baggy-rags" i have been adorning myself with of late. It figures.

Seriously considering investing in some potato sacks.

Ugh.

i think i'm done gunnin' to get closer

to some imagined bliss

i gotta knuckle down

just be ok with this

gotta knuckle down

just be ok with this

'course that star struck girl

is already someone i miss

Just Breathe.

condemned from public space

i sing

in the words from another's mouth

raging guitar

and pulsing bass

are not enough to calm me

today

i gotta tighten down on the lag time

Survivors are part turtle

we are part potato bug

we know enough to go fetal

til its still up above-

cause you gotta crawl through the desert

between when you can hear it

and when you can play it with your hands,

just a rendezvous with

whoever you are 

when you finally understand

i gotta tighten down on the lag time.

can't sit still

can't bring myself to breathe the air

of this shared space-

studying stones

trying to learn to be less alive

i've cut all of the pertinent wires

so my eyes can't make their connection

i am holding my breath

feigning my death

when i'm looking in your direction

cause Numb is an old hat

old as my oldest memories

its a skill 

i'd hoped to abandon 

when i got out on the open road-

there's never been an endeavor

so strange

as trying to slow the blood in my veins

to keep my face blank

as a stone that just sank

until not a ripple remains.

and welcome to:

this year's Alone

brought to you 

by valentine's day

it's not ok

i'm trying to make it so

but it's not ok

welcome to:

something like elation

when you first open your eyes

cause it means

you must have finally

got to sleep

last night

and today

i just can't play along.

i paint my face with blacks

and browns

a mask to the world

and a notice to myself:

i am not going to cry.

i am not going to cry.

i am not going to cry.

i am not going to cry.

Meister Eckhart and Rumi

It is a Lie

It is a lie- any talk of God

that does not 

comfort

you.

Rumi, Pay Homage

If God said,

"Rumi, pay homage to everything

that has helped you

enter my

arms,"

there would not be one experience of my life,

not one thought, not one feeling,

not any act, I

would not

bow

to.

So...

...today was a rough day.

Sometimes they just are, I guess.
Sigh.
Anyway, I found these quotes online and they made me smile, so i thought i would post them.


"Those who dance are thought to be quite insane by those who cannot hear music."
Maggie Erotokritou

"Re-examine all you have been told... Dismiss what insults your Soul."
Walt Whitman

I particularly like the last one, reminds me of a poem by Rumi which i will have to find and post.

I am taking a class. It feels really good. I didn't realize how much I had missed the academic world until recently. I am EXCITED about having projects due and assigned reading....yes, i said it, EXCITED. It's crazy. Perhaps I am ready to go back...

it certainly doesn't hurt that the class is "Women's Spirituality"...!

Truth is, i've never had a problem studying things that are of great interest to me--its the general-education-repeating-the-last-two-years-of-high-school bullshit that i can't stand. In all honesty, i only have one, at MOST, two semesters left to complete at community college, which i think i could blaze through with the prospect of ACTUALLY studying what I am interested in so very close.

Its funny, because as i talk to people about this, i get a couple of different responses, one of them being something like this, " PHEW! Great! Finally gonna get back on track with your life!" I mean, obviously this is not explicitedly said, but there is a distinct feeling of relief on their part.
It's very strange.

I look back over the last few years of my Life and i can honestly say that i have done MORE work during this time period of not being in school than i have ever done- in my whole Life.

More healing, more searching, transforming, and growing than at any other time in my Life. These years have been absolutely invaluable and i wouldn't go back and change anything, not one thing. I am a different person, and i am more Whole.

Also, i have a clearer idea of what my path might be, what pulls at my heart, what makes me more ALIVE than anything else...what my gifts are- and definitely what i do NOT want to do, or be, or have in my Life.

This Great Rush that our society is in has really swept by me and I am glad to watch it go. I think everyone here should be required to spend at least 3 months outside this country and then come back in, for some perspective. Or at least some culture shock. When i came back into California after my time in Mexico, we drove about 2-3 miles in towards San Diego and i was ready to jump out of a moving vehicle and make a run for it...

Something that has been coming up a lot recently:
**(to be read in the most utterly ridiculous grandiose voice you can muster, and with a little swagger, please.)**


"The Way Things Are~"


I refuse to go along with things simply because "This is The Way Things Are." ...what a crock of shit that is. Things are the way they are becuase we have made them that way. AND continue to do so, every day.

More and more lately the words of Gandhi have been echoing around in my head-

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Honestly, I don't know what this all means for my Life- what it will look like. But that's okay right now. I just know in my heart that i have a life work ahead of me that i am being prepared for now- and that it's probably going to look crazy to most people, and that i will never make any money doing it. But that's okay, too.

I just want to Love God
and Love People,

and that's it.