Just Breathe.

condemned from public space

i sing

in the words from another's mouth

raging guitar

and pulsing bass

are not enough to calm me

today

i gotta tighten down on the lag time

Survivors are part turtle

we are part potato bug

we know enough to go fetal

til its still up above-

cause you gotta crawl through the desert

between when you can hear it

and when you can play it with your hands,

just a rendezvous with

whoever you are 

when you finally understand

i gotta tighten down on the lag time.

can't sit still

can't bring myself to breathe the air

of this shared space-

studying stones

trying to learn to be less alive

i've cut all of the pertinent wires

so my eyes can't make their connection

i am holding my breath

feigning my death

when i'm looking in your direction

cause Numb is an old hat

old as my oldest memories

its a skill 

i'd hoped to abandon 

when i got out on the open road-

there's never been an endeavor

so strange

as trying to slow the blood in my veins

to keep my face blank

as a stone that just sank

until not a ripple remains.

and welcome to:

this year's Alone

brought to you 

by valentine's day

it's not ok

i'm trying to make it so

but it's not ok

welcome to:

something like elation

when you first open your eyes

cause it means

you must have finally

got to sleep

last night

and today

i just can't play along.

i paint my face with blacks

and browns

a mask to the world

and a notice to myself:

i am not going to cry.

i am not going to cry.

i am not going to cry.

i am not going to cry.