On a Much Much Worse Note.

"Wish one of them would come to my house. They'd get a [such and such] gun to the head. I'd make them do a break dance they ain't never seen before."

Somebody* (whom i would like to punch squarely in the nose, but am very consciously and arduously trying to find compassion for) said this at Mon Cafe today.

And that's a direct quote.

The topic of conversation? The recent robberies in the area.



By far the most blatantly RACIST shit i have heard in a long time.
Not to mention so very, VERY ugly.

More Events of Note.

You haven't really lived in a place, until you have had your own personal get-down-dance party in it.
I am happy to say that such an event occurred in a certain Theater Apartment last night.

To Regina Spektor's "On the Radio."

Thank you, Regina. Thank you.

hon.es.ty

Dictionary.com tells me-

1. the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness.
2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
3. freedom from deceit or fraud.


American Heritage Dictionary-

1. The quality or condition of being honest; integrity.
2. Truthfulness; sincerity: in all honesty.



"Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control." -Don Marquis (1878-1937)

"Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
-George Burns (1896-1996)

"We must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy."
-George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)


“Honesty is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself.”
-William Shakespeare ( 1564-1616)

“If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to.”
-Proverb

"Honesty is the cruelest game of all, because not only can you hurt someone- and hurt them to the bone- you can feel self-righteous about it at the same time."
-Dave Von Ronk

"He who is passionate and hasty, is generally honest; it is your cool dissembling hypocrite, of whom you should beware."
-Unknown

"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
-Arthur C Clarke (1917-?)

"Honest people are easily deceived."
-Unknown

"Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty."
-Plato

"A true friend will tell you the truth to your face- not behind your back."
-Sasha Azevedo

"How painful are honest words!"
-Job 6:25

"An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips."
-Proverbs 24:26


So, what is it? A kiss on the lips? Or pain and cruelty?
Does a true friend say it to your face? Or do they shutup and sit tight and wait for you to learn your own lesson?
What is more profitable? To tell the truth or refrain? Either way, people are hurt. Which one hurts less and fewer people?

It is when we are lying to ourselves that we react violently to the truth being spoken.

How do we know when to speak and when not to?

If we choose to speak, we can only hope to be heard.

and If we choose to remain silent?

I don't know.

Pure Brilliance.

"I don't know kara-te, but i know kuh-raaazy!"

-James Brown

Events of Note

So, living alone.

Very fun, actually. it's funny the little conversations we have with ourselves, the ones we aren't even aware of most of the time.

First Event of Note: Creative Surge.
I have been super creative. I made this collage for my sister, something i have been meaning to do for a long time. And there is so much more inspiration and ideas just waiting to be birthed!

Second: Pampering- Without Apology!
So, last night I was up doing my thing, when i had the hankering for avocado and hummus with sharp cheddar on black bread toast. And a glass of wine. And dark chocolate. The funny little conversation went something like this-
'But I can't eat that- it's so late! And that's so...so, Luxurious.'
'True, very true. But what's wrong with that??'
'Yeah, what's wrong with that? I'll do it!'

And so, i did. and it was delicious. and it made me feel good. i think we should be good to ourselves like that more and indulge a little in the simplicities that make us feel good.

Also, I've been playing this game with myself. The first time I took a shower at my new place I happened to look up at the shower head to see the acronym, RSA. I have no idea what that actually stands for, but the game I've been playing is this:

When I'm in the shower I think of possible definitions of the acronym and make little declarations in my head, such as-

"Rachell Stands Alone!"
and
"Rachell Secures Autonomy!"

for those of you who might be worried about me, i assure you, this isn't the lonely psychobabble of a woman gone mad,
but rather the inner dialogue of a woman who is enjoying her own company.

The Process of Moving...

as i move through the house,

removing my things

it feels as if i am removing myself

as well,

little by little

gathering myself

back into my arms.

and my boxes are titled

by the content,

full of things

written in coded text

like so many memories

packed up and waiting

for my

next

adventure.

the scratches and chips

on my furniture

tell a history

of quick escapes

and near misses,

of searching

and searching

and searching

for home.

i look at all my shit

fondly,

and remember

people and places,

surprises

excitement

lessons

sorrow and

delight

i re-member myself

from the stories

that they tell.

and i think i'm beginning to like

all that is

bittersweet,

the sweet makes the bitter thicker-

wrapped around my tongue

it tastes like being alive,

while the bitter makes the sweet

just that much richer-

and i savor each moment

here

with you.