HARTA

Maybe yo necessito escribir en una lengua diferente para espresar lo que esta pasando en mi vida, en mi corazon, en mi alma.  

Maybe tengo que dejar esta manera de expression.

Maybe nunca quiero comunicarme con nadie de mi pasado.  Just Maybe.

Yo no se lo mejor en este momento, pero yo se que estoy HARTA con cada persona que escriba aqui quien quiere defender un religion, una dogma, y no tiene el espacio para permitar una persona tener su opinion y escribir en cada parte de su Journey.

Paz Ya'll.

GET FREE.

Radical.

i am tired of driving
home
to a hot empty apartment
whose silences
echo
in my four-chambered
heart.
for me
there is no home-coming
except to that secret place-
the space
i hold
for myself.

an apartment is just
four walls-
and with no one
inside them
but me,
it has become
a pleasant
luxury.


"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet [God] feeds them.
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"

...that's in Matthew 6, along with "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth..."



(trying not to hurl myself headlong into a raging rant about the hypocracy and direct confliction i see in American Christianity.....oh, it hurts... compassion Rachell, compassion. phew.)

Why I Choose to Shave

- There is this invigorating energy rush to your head- a clarity of vision that comes. It feels like facing the world lighter, freer, and unobstructed.

- Men stop whistling, hooting, staring, drooling, and acting like you're not a sentient human being. In fact, the only attraction/attention I get from any man when shaven is deeply respectful, almost honoring.

- It makes me look at myself, hard. It helps me to see within myself where I am still buying into ridiculous, superficial ideas about beauty; the dynamics in my relationship to other women, men, and myself are illuminated in such a way that I can see unhealth where it lies.

- It feels good, dammit.




It's also a little like becoming a walking social experiment. It is such a trip to see how people respond to you. Good and bad.
It reveals so much about who they are and what is important to them.

Also, it is very empowering, especially this time around. I feel bold, full of strength and courage. A little fierce. (Necessary at times.)
I feel more my own than I ever have, Ever.
And, I feel Beautiful.




Love.

Hey!

I have become one of those people that never writes anything new on their blog.
How did that happen?
...What have i become??

Lack of internet and an unreliable computer will do that to you , I suppose. Oh well. :)

I've just recently returned from a short stint in New Mexico with Tommy. When i say short, i mean really, really, really short. 5 days. which is really just one big heart-tease, in more than one way.
And you really shouldn't tease your heart.
It's not a very nice thing to do.

I've been moving slower. Which is good. Taos reminded me of that for sure- Life doesn't have to race at breakneck speed all the time. Sometimes, living here, i feel crazy because i will spend a morning alone, in my apartment, moving at my natural (slower) speed-- and when i step outside, everything and everyone is moving so fast it makes me dizzy.

Taos reminded me that i'm not crazy. That it's you people who are the crazy ones.


I joke. just a friendly little joke....



....you rushing fiends.


working on a new song. pretty chords, good pattern, just can't seem to decide what it's about. I've got three different verses almost completed- but they're about very different things and i'm having a hard time deciding between them. i think it's because i haven't been writing that much (obviously) and so know that my pen is finally hitting the page, everything's trying to come out at once.


Anyway Folks, I'll try to post more often and perhaps be a little more interesting. ;)
Paz y Amor a todos.