Connections

Thank God for good conversations....they have been my lifesaver as of late.

thoughts on the way home...

Driving on 5
The weight of possibility
The levity of glory
Viewing all I have left behind me
With gentleness and grace

Those things I still carry
I hold tenderly, cautiously
Increasingly aware of my vulnerability,
Encountering less and less resistance
To these moment by moment surrenderings
Of my heart, my fears, my very life.

O Abba, Holy One
Ante ti doy me vida-
Please guide me,
You are my One desire.

The dust of a holy city
Clings to my clothing
Poor and divine
And dirty.
My heart beats truly when I am there-
This is a phenomenon I must explore.

North bound
I am
Breathing and living
Not resisting where I find myself to be-
In a car with three other crazy ladies
Who carry within them
Divine Wisdom-
Reflections of Sofia and the Heart of Christ.

Holy week in Mexicali
La familia, les amo mucho.
Me encantan los ninos,
La musica
La tristeza
El gozo
Me encantan todos.

Pull myself back to this Moment,
Inhale Life fully
And exhale until my lungs hurt.

I am remembering moments of hilarity,
Shared laughter
And a depth of love that transcends all spoken language.
O las chistosas, los tramposos-
Que sarra!
Tan gacho!
Un sape para ti!
Oh mis hermanas, hermanos- voy a extranarles.

What a beautiful Life
God gives us to live, to love, to enjoy.
My love for Mexicali
And my family
Only grows.

Driving on 5
Laughter and tears co-existing
Love transcending dualities
Until I feel like I could burst.
Coming into Love
Waking up to Life
Worshiping God in all I do
And recognizing the Divine in all the world around me.

Peace and Joy to all.
Paz y Gozo a todos.

Mexico Bound!

Hey vosotros,

i'm gonna be in mexico for the next week....
if you're of the praying persuasion
please pray for us.

specifically-
please pray for direction for me.


Thanks so much! love you guys...
talk to you in a week!

journal excerpt...

my heart exists
in such fragility
this morning
she's a little tired,
and the Ache is knocking on her door-
to let it in would be
some kind of surrender
to old ways of living, loving.

and then my heart remembers.
and it's these little rememberings that continually save her.

she remembers that "True Love" does not exist,
but that the greatest lesson of Life's moment of existence
is this:

to learn to truly love.

i am a bloody fool.

my heart feels like it is ready to explode out of my chest.
i create a tightly woven web
of past and present
possibilities and poor investments.

this web traps my heart,
exposes my underbelly
and makes me
ache
ache
ache.

what a bloody fool.
i walk around in the shadows of my past,
at this moment i am sitting next to
a ghost
a vision
a person who reminds me of one i used to love.

ugh.
i have to go.

Oh! and...

daniel dixon is a humble genious
whose music
cracks
me
open.

Murmurings

Last night was so amazing-
played a casual show with friends and children,
coffee, food, and Love.
such genuine hearts-
i haven't felt that loved in a long time.
i need connection, community.


Thanks Deb for telling me i am not crazy.
i am not thoroughly convinced, but it is so good to hear it.

i feel paralyzed by my desires, my dreams-
the opportunities are so vast before me,
but each road, each path requires different preparation
and i am unsure of my next step.

priorities,
timing,
money...UGH.

maybe i should just lay out my "ideal" and aim for that.
maybe that is too lofty an idea.