Today.

So much has happened. I am in a much better place now. That last blog was a bit disheartening, i know.

I spent the latter part of this week watching the "kids"- Tommy's little brother and sister, Austin and Hope. They are such amazing children. Lifegiving- their presence was so refreshing and joyous.

I am in the process of redefining productivity and keeping perspective. Lightening up a little bit. Having the kids around really helped that. Watching them observe and experience the world around them with wonder and awe reminded me.

simply that, reminded me.

Last night I had a conversation in which i reacted really strongly to something that was said- almost shockingly so. When that sort of thing happens i really have to look at the deeper issue-and i have realized that there is a part of me, that is deeply and inherently feminine, and is wounded.

Somehow i knew before this trip, that this would be about my Womanhood. Just as I knew last trip that it would be about healing myself and my relationship to/with my Dad. It is interesting to me, that this has arisen. Now, here. And that there is a Meeting this weekend for Ladonna, Tommy's sister.

There are things that have happened to me in my Life, perpetrated by men or circumstances, that happened because I am a Woman. Simply that, no other reason. Things that could not, or would not have happened to a man. And i have begun to realize that i am angry and i am really, really deeply hurt by that. And that it is good just to say that. And that now, i know, healing will come. Because we cannot heal what we do not admit has wounded us.

It is good for me to realize that i do not need to stress and worry about what i am DOING necessarily, or what job i am going to land, but rather, inner work, and BECOMING, and healing. This is more important.