stream of consciousness

Alice Walker, Ani, and Fiona acompany me tonight in an orderly fashion parading through my conciousness like ants in a line sometimes i think i dwell too long in places deemed unfit by well intentioned individuals who know me fairly accurately my mind travels to the thin man piano player who sang the blues with his fingers so achey and divine and then to the man in the coffee shop tonight who sang his heart out though no one was listening i feel you man how the words jumble inside of me screaming to be let out with no relief no release its rather soothing to type without puncuation not needing to know where things end and begin again i have been thinking in the past lately saying goodbye to love and longing that once affected me so deeply and now just pass by on campus so strange to be strangers life is taking new curves and rolls and i am looking forward excited and astounded at how quickly things change how old am i again? oops put a question mark oh well it seems to fit there i think spent time talking about balance and the imbalance of life that causes us to grow felt rather disconnected from my self tonight a strange sensation as though i was there but not or maybe just partially community seems to be a recurring topic lately pondering what effect it will have on my life on the world how does one hold in tension daily life and eternity necessity and desire passion and the routine. struggling.
have all these songs waiting to be written yet the music isnt coming in a timely fashion can't rush art or force expression but it is a little frustrating.
thank you for telling me i'm beautiful i need to hear it.
my heart is beating for another touch from Your hand my Beloved One please move me and lead me i will follow spent time as a familiy tonight how i miss that so desperately we need it i've been dwelling in the future lately as well i'm missing the present just need to BE for awhile driving out of the way for pizza at midnight dancing in art museums climbing trees and dreaming this is the stuff life is made of i think things seem harder at night when you're alone it's time to get some sleep i'll hit the pool in the morning and emerge fresh.
peace.