Wretched.

What a mess I am today.
so much more i want to post and write about. more productive, stimulating ideas and revelations....but here i am, just kinda stewing. feeling like i am on the edge of so much, leaving so many things behind, possibly carrying too much even still. new beginnings, old wounds, just feeling weighted. wish that my vision was clearer. struggling to sort through the new creation and old, new revelations and things to unlearn. a good struggle, but why am i bearing this unnecessary weight?
seeing places that so desperately need change, so many i want to weep. wanting to be vulnerable, and yet not collapse and burden another. what is wrong with me? so many desires pulling at me, contradicting each other and themselves.
my friend dave said,
I look at it as a fresh start but it could be the end of the world.
just feeling that today.