Help.

Wow.
Got quite the response for posting a vent on this space. I never post to spite someone or to cause hurt.

Guess no more venting here.

Interesting dynamic to have people read your journal...nice to let them in and look around, get to know you better; at the same time receiving judgement when they see the ugly stuff.

I am torn. I want to get away from all this unhappiness. I dwell in strained silence with complete strangers. No wonder Han and i are so close. We're like life jackets for each other.
I am tired of living in such negativity. I just want to come home to someone who loves me. Someone who rises to greet me, delighted to see me. and a cat. i want a home and a cat.
I want to come home and have it feel like home.
its been so flubbing long...my soul is weary.
God please lead me because i don't know where to go.
fighting bitterness the best i can but it is wearing me down.
My greatest desire is to get out. get away.
its all just so unhealthy here.
i fear fleeing though- that never really solved anybody's problems.
but maybe they're not mine to solve. How long will we need to bend for and work around someone's denial of and unwillingness to work on their issues?
Oops, venting again.

pray hard please, anyone reading this.
my soul is in anguish.